It’s no secret that 2020 is not on the top of the charts as a nice or pleasant year. That being said, a number of fellow moms have shared their struggles with me in the past week or two; how hard the past few months have been. I share in their frustrations and tiredness for sure!
I wanted to share something a friend posted the other day, as I did not write it, but understand it to my very core. It resonates very strongly as a mother and full time worker trying to get everything done. Everyday. There isn’t enough time in the day to do it all- and that is okay (even when it doesn’t feel like it)!! That laundry will be there tomorrow, the dishes will be too (although who are we kidding- my life goal is to have a clean sink every night…since they were born). But that bedtime snuggle might not be, that toddler playtime or cute interaction might be missed as they grow up. Priorities are key. Family, is a priority.
“One time I was at a Q&A with Nora Roberts and someone asked her how to balance writing and kids and she said that the key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic and some are made of glass.
I dropped more than one ball today…but they were plastic, and tomorrow, it will be okay.Source: Jennifer Lynn Barnes
If you drop a plastic ball, it bounces, no harm done. If you drop a glass ball, it shatters, so you have to know which balls are glass and which are plastic and prioritize catching the glass ones.
Nora was not talking about juggling five balls. She was talking about juggling FIFTY-FIVE balls. The balls don’t represent “family” or “work.” There are separate balls for everything that goes into each of those categories. “Deadline on Project Y” or “crazy sock day at school.”
And her point, addressing a room full of women, was not “prioritize kids over work.” It was “some kid stuff is glass and some is plastic, and sometimes, to catch a glass work ball, you have to drop a plastic family one, and that is okay.”
And the reverse is also true. Sometimes, to catch a glass kid ball, something at work has to slide, and that is okay too.
If you are juggling 55 balls, some are going to drop, so you have to focus not on broad categories, but on the glass balls.
I think about this ALL THE TIME. I dropped more than one ball today. It is hard to drop any ball and I hate it! But they were plastic, and tomorrow, it will be okay.”
Source: Jennifer Lynn Barnes
So am I a ball dropper? 100%. Everything can’t get done everyday. Do I wish I wasn’t? Sure. But it’s really about prioritizing and figuring out which ones are glass and which are plastic, and trudging forward that way, knowing that your best is all you can do. Getting in those moments with the girls, trying to enjoy the hard times, knowing they will get easier, and spending time with my family as we continue down this crazy, pandemic road we are stuck on.
So keep your head up, friends, mommas, dads!! And reach out if you need to talk; I’m tired and overworked with too much on my plate, but I am also here if you need me.