It’s been a while since a randomly chaotic, yet hysterical event occurred in the Douglets household. I’m here to inform you that we had a brief stint of that very thing tonight, and of course while Craig is running an errand. Did it involve any kind of mortar? Thankfully no. Was it poop related? Well of course it was…

After dinner, I productively tackled the load of laundry that had been calling my name from the living room like it had more important business from the day. All three little ladies were deep in their evening ritual of royal chaos— their princess tea parties in full swing, complete with grand proclamations of announcing princes blah blah blah echoing from the stairway. Dance costumes and dress-up heels were the attire of choice, obviously, as they zoomed between pretend thrones and imaginary ballrooms. Just another typical evening surrounded by three pint-sized queens ruling their kingdom of glitter, giggles, and chaos.

I hear a scream upstairs, and the other two go running to see what Emerie is hollering about. Traditionally it’s something like I saw a spider or look at my beautiful fort! but this team meeting ended with three heads popping around the bathroom corner and sailing down the hallway, all screaming.

Since that got my attention, I ventured upstairs to find an impromptu inch- deep, indoor swimming pool in my bathroom, accompanied by three screaming children, and it still coming. After shutting off both the water and my ear drums, Emerie informed me with disgust that this occurred while still sitting on said pot, and everyone hovered as I frantically grabbed towels. Four of us in a tiny bathroom filled with water is a little tight, so my demands for everyone to go away were following by a flurry of artistic ambition (hilariously), all insistent that No Entry and Stop signs display on the door. After all, we wouldn’t want and unsuspecting visitors wandering into our new water park.

As I’m mopped up the bathroom floor, with the river thankfully changed to a lake, I realize it’s the first time in six years as a parent that this has happened to me. I am going to say that is pretty good -I’m certain it would have been sooner if we had boys- and everything was alright until I looked at the remains that caused the overflow (barf) and the incredibly amount of toilet tissue. This summer the girls appear to be on a mission to singlehandedly restart the COVID toilet paper shortage, on bathroom stop at a time.

By the time I emerged from the cleanup, and a still clogged toilet that needed Craig’s muscle to release, Stop signs were up and I heard the front door shut, assuming it was Craig getting home. In reality, Harper and Reagan went outside after their emergency six-year-olds summit to debate who caused the great disaster. The mission? To stand guard in case Dad gets home. We don’t want him to see it!!

Generally I would feel a mix of exasperation, amusement, and mild defeat in these moments—always wondering how something so chaotic could unfold in such a short time. But then again, at least it wasn’t mortar, and no real harm was done! Emerie summed up the experience pretty concisely with her well that’s so weird. I am happy to report all has been resolved, the plumbing de-pooped and tissued by Dad, and we will keep going with the flow (get it???).

Yep, kids are fun. I’m going to go wash my hands again.